I Love Kid Words

Of all the amazing, watching your child grow up miracles, watching the acquisition language has got to be tops. It is so dang funny, confusing, serious, and most of all poetic.

Some examples, listed by kid:

Noa:

"Bee-yuu ta ta!" is what she says when I put her down for sleep and am leaving the room. Ta ta!?

"wurtz" is a fork. "mommy wurtz" is mommies fork, of course.

"Piyoun" or "piyouny" is a spoon.

"phone, have it." is pretty obvious.

"Read it to me.", with surprisingly great pronunciation!

"wall-ries" are flowers, said very matter of factly, like of course wall-ries are flowers, I don't even need to explain it to you.

"Tea-mutz" is bengal spice tea in milk, her all time favorite.

"ma-lee-lai" is familia, the most delicious musli cereal ever.

"ba-li-ta" is blanket.

Isaac:

I was trying to get the dirt about what happens at his new preschool. He's not super into kids his own age, so I asked him if he talks to the teacher very much. He said, "Not really, but when I hurt somebody I do." So I, trying to sound cooler than I felt, asked him, "Did you hurt anyone today?" He answered, "No, not that I'm aware of." (!!!)

I was trying to sneak a putty knife into the kitchen to clean something sticky off of the floor. I was sort of trying to hide it from Isaac because I thought he would want to talk about it or want it or just be difficult about it. He was doing something else and glanced over at me. "Mom, why to you have a putty knife in your hand?" So I answered, "Well, I was going to clean that sticky goop off the floor with it. And how do you know the word putty knife?" He then told me, "I just know it instinctually"

We were grating apple for our morning familia, and Isaac wanted to help. After grating for a while, he looked inside and said, "There are big bucks, big trucks of apple swimming around in the cheese grater." 

We were talking about how our aquarium membership ran out. I told him it was only good for a year, and that ended a week ago. He didn't say anything for a while, and then asked, "Where do all the years go when they get finished, like where are they stored?" 

This one is totally weird: Isaac was talking about a 5 ear punch out. I wanted an explanation. "A 5 ear punchout is a person who has 5 ears and you go into the person's house and you punch out the air and then you go back out of the person's house and punch back in the air

A dinosaur punch out is a school where you learn about dinosaurs if you want to learn about them."

I am definitely going to keep that in mind!

Does mothering equal waitressing?

*Where it all goes down!

You're on your feet, running around, all day, being nice to (little) people. And then when that blessed moment comes when they go to bed and your shift is "over", it isn't really. You have sidework: Load the dishwasher, wash the pots, the highchair, the floor under the highchair, the table top, the bibs. Switch the laundry, or start the laundry, or fold the laundry, or all of it. And then the cat box. Always the cat box! Plus the baby potties that weren't emptied before. Yick.

Ok, enough complaining!

Onward!

I do love them btw, all the way to the stars, and that helps.

*photo credit - Lena Corwin. She made my workplace look so darn nice!

Toddler Meltdown Miracle Cure

LOVE!

Seriously. I think I'm onto something here. And today was a day of major meltdowns, so I had lots of practice.

List of meltdowns:

1. For a lollypop, during dinner
2. For how to take off a necklace
3. For breast pump parts
4. For tractor wheels taken off on the toddler bed. I took them off on the floor and was not forgiven.

Except for the last one, I cured him of all his manias by telling him I loved him. And reminding him that he was my favorite boy in the world, and hugging him like crazy. When I put him on my lap after the lollypop meltdown, he became a completely changed kid. 

I told Jeremy about it, and he said he thought it worked because it no longer is a battle of wills. And it did really feel like we were on the same side. It felt good to tell him that I loved him rather than that he was making me nuts.

And it made me love him more.

How do you explain death to a 3 year old?

Happier and cozier times

"When is Evette gonna come back from dying?" asked Isaac tonight. "She's not going to come back sweetie, she's gone." I answered. "But noooo! She has to come back!" He cried. And I just stared at him. I didn't have the words to explain.

It happened so fast with Evette. She seemed okay, though a little weird, and then suddenly she couldn't stand up or have any control of her body. I found her tucked into a corner behind our couch, forehead pushed into the baseboard, the smallest possible spot she could have fit into. Maybe she wanted to die there? I couldn't let her and brought her into the hospital instead. I didn't want her to hurt.

They were very nice and let me pet her and pet her and say goodbye and I love you as they gave her the first shot to make her sleep, and then the second shot to stop her heart. It was so sad, and I cried all over her, but it was very beautiful and dignified too.

Then I had to explain it to Isaac. I tried, and he asked questions about when we would die, when he would die, and told me that he didn't want to die. I said he would be taller than Daddy when he died, because that seemed like a good long ways off that he could imagine. He answered by saying, "And Daddy will be as tall as I'm gonna be, when he dies!" Then he asked about his granpa's mommy who died. He wanted to know if she had all her parts. And if they were connected. I said yes.

I told him once a while ago that he could imagine his Grandma Nina up in the sky looking down at him. He asked, "She's walking on the sidewalk?"

I guess as in most cases, honesty is the best plan. Don't say they went to sleep because then sleep might get scary. Don't lie and say they ran away. Just be as clear as possible. Though watching his warm brown eyes struggle to try to make sense out of it was very bittersweet. "I don't want my parents to die!" he shouted. I told him it would be a very very very long time and he finally went back to eating his apple.

Goodbye Miss Evette, Angel Ears, Mistress Mouse. You were quite an amazing cat and we love you.

Baby Led Weaning

This is much yummier and squishier than plastic. What fun!

Noa was sitting in her exersaucer, madly trying to eat the plastic letter B and the plastic butterfly hanging next to the plastic letter B. She was yelling a lot. I started thinking maybe they didn't taste nice? How about a banana? I've been reading the Baby Led Weaning book for a little while now, and feeling inspired by their (many might say crazy!) ideas.

"The mush stops here!" In a nutshell (not a spoon), the Baby Led Weaning idea is that babies will feed themselves when they are ready to, and we don't have to push food into them. It's finger foods from the beginning, whenever the baby decides the beginning will be (an ability to sit up and grab things required).

BLW proponents say feeding themselves helps babies learn hand-eye coordination. Babies will have an sense of what they are putting in their mouths instead of being surprised by the mush, so they'll be happier doing it. They won't feel left out of the family dinner. They won't choke because their reflexes will push the food out if they aren't ready for it, (Noa pushed out the little piece of banana that she accidentally bit off). I think BLW is even supposed to make them smarter!

I'm gonna give it a shot with Noa. I didn't do it with Isaac (and he's certainly smart enough). I mostly chewed his food for him in the very beginning (I know, gross, but helpful in a digestive enzyme sort of way!), and he loved being fed so it wasn't a problem.

Noa, by the way, isn't quite ready. As you can see from the photo up there, I was holding the banana for her, and I think that is a major no-no. The little girl needs to be in charge, and I don't think she is quite up to the task yet. But soon!

For now, I think the thumb is yummiest. Especially when it's covered with banana goop.

It's ok mom. I'll eat it when I'm good and ready.

The Making of a Momma is Not Easy

I've been seeing this face a lot lately.

"Love the child most when they are most difficult to love." 

I just found this. It is advice passed on from one momma's great-great grandmother. I wish this great-great grandmother were by my side right now.

It's been really hard lately with Isaac and Noa. Really hard. My patience is so incredibly thin, and Isaac keeps scratching through it over and over again, leaving me really raw.

So I just did a little retail therapy and bought Unconditional Parenting, and Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma

I also vow to get more sleep, and maybe even a little exercise. Everything I've read says feeling like you are about to lose it is usually because your own person's needs are being majorly ignored. Mine are being ignored so much, I'm not even sure who I am these days.

Sorry for being such a downer, but as Isaac told me yesterday when I was upset, "It's okay momma, some days are just like that."



 

Bite me.

Yesterday I came as close as I ever have to telling someone to bite me. As in, "Bite me, Lady."

We were at the Park Slope Food Coop. Isaac was sitting in the cart wanting EVERYTHING.

"I want to hold a potato!",
"NO! A bigger potatohoh!",
"Give me a pumpkin!",
"Does the checkout lady have to weigh the blackberries before we can eat them?",
"As soon as the checkout lady weighs the blackberries, I am going to eat them."

That was only the fruit and vegetable section. Once we were in the bulk aisle he got really rowdy.

"Animal Crackers!!!!"
"I want animal crackers!!!"
"No, no, no!!!! I want them in my hand!!"
"I want to HOLD them!"

I moved the cart 5 feet away to a safer area next to the spices. I told him I was going to get us some spiral pasta and made my way through the crowd to the pasta bin.

"Pasta?! Pasta!? I want to HOLD pasta!"
"Give me pasta Mommy! Mommy? I want the pasta mommy!"

By then I wanted to pretend that he was not my child and that I didn't know him. I wanted to get the spiral pasta and run from the bulk aisle as fast as I could. So I'm digging as fast as I can into the pasta bin when this lady comes up to me and says, "Why don't you just talk to him."

"Bite me."

The End of Naptime??

Lionel, Hiss, and Woofer in there all by themselves :(

Nooooooo!!!!!!!

I beg you Isaac, please please please please, don't give up on it yet. 

I might cry (daily) if you do. 

My dad said one of his big lows of parenting was when we gave up our naps. And he survived. But how?
I cannot imagine.

I'm also wondering how this old house is going to survive Isaac bouncing in his crib like a toddler piston.
Even worse, out of the crib!

Poor house! Poor me!

Toddler Painting

His first time ever.

One must focus.

This photo was more toward the beginning of our painting experience, but it really didn't get much messier than this. And we ended up with a lovely colorful bunch of splotches.

Bad weather can inspire all sorts of greatness.

Peeing on the Potty, Advice and Ideas

Today was a very big day, potty-wise.

The little guy said to me, jumping from one foot to the other, "Mama!, I'm about to pee!" So we hightailed it over to the potty and he did just exactly as he had forecast. Wahoooo!!!

Yea, that's the cool guy (greaser for halloween in this pic) who knows where to do his business!

See, we've been doing great on the pooping front for almost a year now, but pee pee had become elusive, frustrating, and very wet.

Here's what we did that I think made the biggest difference: underpants + pants! I've had the underpants for a while, and he's been wearing them at home, but usually with nothing on top, so that when he pees, the floor gets really wet, and he just gets sort of wet. I changed my tactics by fortifying them a little (post on how to do that coming soon!), and then at home I dressed him in the fortified undies with sweatpants over. So for the past week, when he went pee pee he definitely knew it, and it wasn't very much fun. Each time he got wet I told him, "Next time, if you tell me before you pee your pants will stay dry!"

So I'm thinking/hoping/wondering if the concept actually soaked through (ha!). I've definitely learned that all of this is usually two steps forward, one step back, so it sure feels good to make a leap!

The Terrible Twos Have Hit, Hard.

I feel like a crazed little being has possessed my child. This little being starts whining and crying approximately 5 seconds after my son has asked for something. Often it starts whining and crying while my son is asking for something. It is so loud, I can't even hear or understand what the both of them want.

It's nuts. Today he wanted to hear "the ding dong song" (frere Jacques) on the radio. I told him that we didn't have it, but that we could sing it instead. His answer was "NO!!! I want to hear the Ding Dong song on the RADIO!!". So I told him again that I wished I could play it for him, but alas, not possible, and he freaked out even more. I tried doing what The Happiest Toddler on the Block author, Harvey Karp advises and repeating back to him loudly exactly what he wanted "ISAAC WANTS TO HEAR THE DING DONG SONG ON THE RADIO!" I yelled that maybe 5 or 6 times, until I felt like a complete crazy person myself, gave up, wrestled him into his stroller and threw us both outside.

The crying stopped before we were up the stairs, and he was pretty much fine, except with a few tear streaks. I, on the other had, was completely exhausted and spent.

He did miss a nap on Monday, and didn't get enough sleep Sunday night either. I'm hoping that's a big part of this, because if this only signals the arrival of the terrible twos, I want to run away.

Happily standing in a puddle 15 minutes later.

When the Kid Doesn't Nap

Maybe this guy (or gal?) could convince him to nap?

It makes me crazy. Crazier than just about anything else these days. It makes me feel like my insides are being squeezed. I freak out, to others probably unreasonably. And then I get even more upset because they just don't understand why I'm so upset.

I'm writing this while I can hear the springs squeaking in his crib from his jumping up and jumping down, his voice explaining something to his lion, Lionel. Probably telling him that  his mommy should pull herself off of the (blessed) couch and come to his rescue.

We went to the aquarium today, which was wonderful, but a long drive, and on the way home he got that spacey look in his eyes, the spacey look that I should know by now means a "waking nap", and that he's not gonna do it again, even if his eyes should spend awhile closed.

It's so frustrating because I know he's tired! He was rubbing his eyes like crazy before I put him down. But now he's wired. And I'm a mess too.

I NEED his nap as much as he does. I just realize now its because I need to have a few hours where all my mommy-receptors are turned off.

That's why, even though he's safe in his crib and I'm out here, its still hell, because the receptors are on. "When should I go in?" I'm thinking, "Is he ok? Am I traumatizing him? Will he maybe, by some miracle, finally fall asleep, jumping? And why is he calling me Eva instead of mommy!?"

Now is perhaps when I should either cry or call a babysitter.

Ouch! What to do if your almost 2 year old bites (you).

Note the open mouth and teething ring in Isaac's left hand!

His biting was driving me to the edge, and sometimes over the edge.

At least he was only biting me, and sometimes Jeremy, or a good neighbor friend of ours, and not his park-friends. That would be really really bad.

But it was making me mad, really mad. I timed him out over and over again, but even though that had worked for other stuff like not opening the refrigerator, it didn't seem to make a dent in biting. Sometimes later he would sing a little song that went something like, "Don't bite Mommy, don't bite Daddy, don't bite Dampa....", but it was only a song.

In my despair I turned to the millions of other mommas on the internet and found they had published volumes of biting articles! I felt much less alone, and learned some interesting and helpful stuff too: I learned that little ones are not good at impulse control because the impulse part of their brain is very undeveloped (go figure!). We have major leaps of impulse control growth at ages 1, 3, and 6, and our brains keep improving on this until we are 30! Until we drink or do drugs and then we turn into a toddlers again. Lack of impulse control is one of the things that make toddlers so cute and funny when they say things like, "Mayonnaise is climbing up up up the door!" and of course what also makes them not think before they bite.

I realized I was taking his biting a little too personally.

I also learned that repetition in saying, "no biting." firmly does help, as does removing yourself from the situation i.e. not letting it happen in the first place. All the articles seemed to agree that biting your kid back is a very bad idea (I have to admit the thought did cross my mind) because you should be setting an example for how to behave. They said to explain instead that biting hurts and no one likes to be hurt, but don't explain too much.

All this info seemed very basic, but it was helpful, and implementing a combination of these strategies has really helped. He hasn't bitten me in almost a week!

Here is what I did and am doing:

1. Whenever I know he is about to bite I say, "No biting.", and walk away, or gently push him off of me.
2. I'm not giving him anymore time-outs for biting, unless he really becomes a wild animal and I just need him to calm down.
3. I give myself a timeout if necessary, for example going into the bathroom after he bit me and shutting the door. That took attention away from him and gave me time to splash cold water on my face which felt lovely and healing!
4. He often bites while I'm cooking, so I bring a chair over for him to stand on and help/watch me cook.
5. I offer him other stuff to bite.
6. I ask him what he actually needs and wants.
7. Finally, I stopped getting so mad. I heard that even getting mad gives kids attention that they crave, plus it was making me feel terrible.

If any of you reading are feeling as I felt, I feel for you! Take a deep breath, your wild one will be tamed soon!

Big Kid Swings

The big kid swings at Camel Park are awesome. The chains to the top bar are really long and make a lovely swinging arc.Isaac calls them "the big kid fwings" and sometimes forgets to hold on with two hands, but his concentration and contemplation elevate him to big kid too, at least for that little sweet fwinging while.

The Kid Has a Cold

"Take booger out of nose!" says Isaac.
"I wish I could!" says mommy.

I just put an atlas, a book on winged migration, and one more slender volume under his crib mattress to prop his head up a bit. I'm hoping that tonight won't be as bad as last night. Or maybe he'll just get extra smart from paranormal osmosis!

Poor guy :(

My Baby is Obsessed with Trash

And it is Driving Me Nuts.

Action shot!

I try to remind myself that this is just a phase, but this phase has been going on for months. Many months full of hanging out at garbage cans while Isaac picks up little bits of detrius ("shrash!") that range from the seriously gross, to a nice firm stone, and drops them "in!"

Behind the visitor's center in Fort Greene Park, where there is lots of trash!

The ladies who work at the park all know his name and love him, not just because he's so cute and chubby, but because he helps them with the little hard to get trash items.

"Shrash!"...."Shrash!" His little bottom up is up in the air, his little fingers down on the ground, picking and pulling. The only time I really get upset is when he picks up cigarette butts, "No Isaac! No cigarettes!", or gum, "Yucky!"

trash heaven

But that is maybe 50% of the time, which is quite a lot of time, if you think about it.

The people on the bench thought it was funny.

The Miracle of Growing Up

From this:

Isaac at 7 months, 4/23/11

to this:

5 months later, 9/13/11

 to this:

His red pants are too short now!

I have 2 old lady cats, named Evette and Goose, and I've thought about their ages often through the years. Thoughts like, "Wow, if they were my human babies, they would be talking to me by now." And then a few years later, "My goodness, they would be going to kindergarten!" As of today, they would be in the 5th and 6th grade!

Through this time, they have continued meowing, eating, sleeping, pooping, cuddling, and running like crazy possessed beings through the apartment; very silly and cute and fascinating, but not so much has changed.

And these kitties have been my main taking care of something and watching it grow up experience, except for plants.

So as you can imagine, Isaac has really done a number on my whole growing up perception. I'm liking it though. It certainly keeps a momma on her toes.

Very Sick Kitty

Yes, I am very skinny, and not feeling so hot.

I am not only Isaac's momma, but also the momma of a very sick cat. Goose has Cholangiohepatitis, which means her liver cells are inflamed, and the bile is not being excreted properly. Her biliruben is really high, so she's yellow and jaundiced, won't eat, and feels like poop. 

The vet said this often happens after a cat has had hepatic lipidosis, which she had, maybe 8 years ago. Its a similar course of treatment: we have to just make sure she eats (+ appetite stimulant, + antibiotic, +streoid), so she's got a feeding tube again. Its a weird feeling to squirt all that stuff through the tube giving her no say in the matter whatsoever. And I feel guilty, paying so much attention to my human baby and not enough to her. I should have noticed her not eating enough earlier. Plus Isaac drives her crazy. She is really scared of him (as perhaps she should be) and that must give her lots of stress.

Poor thing, she was so groggy and out of it when I brought her home, she couldn't walk straight.  But I think she's happy now, or as happy as a cat can be with a feeding tube sticking out of her neck.  She's on my lap and purring. Its a different kind of purr than her usual high-class motor style purr, but a purr nevertheless.

The Discipline Begins

Yes, this little angel in a panda hat can drive me nuts.

I've been feeling pretty beat up lately by Isaac's shrieking, biting, intensely wanting stuff, intensely not wanting stuff.

So it was a wonderfully serendipitous moment when yesterday Jeremy sent me this book excerpt about discipline and your wonderful yet terrible toddler. It's helpful, inspiring and short. The author, Dr. Michelle Cohen, has a no nonsense approach that I like. It's along the lines of puppy training.

I like how he says not to make the little guys say sorry because they aren't sorry, since they don't understand sorry yet. I like how he explains to deal with a tantrum about putting on a winter coat.  This is what you are supposed to do:

1. Pin him down
2. Put on the coat
3. Go out

I feel like roaring like a lioness when I read those directions!  Woohoo! It is much easier though to feel strong and purposeful and lion-like sitting here in the quiet after-bed-time, than in the moment of upset. No matter, today I took a stand.

Isaac bit me, and I told him not to. He did it again and I picked him up, put him in his crib and left his room. My goodness, he screamed. He SCREAMED! It was a good thing that I had lots of dishes to wash.

He was a little clingy and upset when I took him out 2 minutes later, but he didn't bite me again, and cheered up pretty quickly. An hour later and we repeated the same scenario. No more biting after that. I dunno, maybe it worked?

Baby Vampire

Perhaps you cannot see the teethmarks, but notice the redness!

Isaac bit me through my pant leg tonight, while I was trying to make his dinner.
It hurt! I wasn't happy.

Then he did it again, and tried to again, and then tried to bite my forearm when I picked him up and my neck when I carried him kicking to his highchair.

I know its unfair to be mad at a 14 1/2 month old, but he laughed when I said, "No!", "Stop!", "Goshdarnit this isn't funny!"
He looked so cute laughing. Arghh. I wasn't going to let him know I thought he looked cute.

Here is my list, in order of probability, of why Isaac became a small vampire tonight:

1. Teething, as my neighbor told me, "Girl!, His gums are itchin'!"
2. He was hungry and couldn't understand that the onions needed to carmelize before I could make the chopped liver. Yes, he eats, and loves chopped liver!
3. He felt ignored, I was paying more attention to the onions then to him.
4. He wanted to nurse.
5. He was tired: this is always a probable excuse.
6. He had a big day, doing lots of big boy things, and needed to express his ability to be a big boy and drive me nuts.
7. He is a baby vampire (in training)

Isaac, going off to do big boy things, before he bared his teeth.